Monday, February 9, 2009

Man, I need your help!!! My 10 year old son is approaching that age where there are beginning to be a lot of "questions". He is wanting to know what "sex" is(to put it bluntly-I don't even think I KNEW that word when I was 10). He is starting to ask how it happens. Up until now I have been able to divert the conversation elsewhere and go to my room and scream in a pillow. :)
My husbands and my approach are totally different. My sweet hubby just comes straight out and answers his questions. I am 33 and it makes me nervous but Logan just sits there and wants to know more. YIKES. So I kindly nudge my husband and he changes the subject. The other night he wanted to know the difference between "intestines" and "testicles". ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! I am not ready for this. BOOO YAAA. So, my husband, who also happens to be an EMT with all the flashcards you could imagine, pulls out the "testicle" flashcard and the "intestine" flashcard. Which then of course he wants to know more and more. As I am dying of sweat on the couch trying to distract my 6 six year old by sending her to the bath. My son seemed to want to learn about the whole body and wasn't going to quit until he learned it all.
I know this has to happen I just don't know how to do it. Should I just let my husband take care of it since he is the boy and I will take care of the girls? Holy moly. Has anyone read any good books on how to share this "talk" with the adolescents of today?
It is so scary that at 10 I have to have this talk. I know it needs to happen.........


Kellie said...

I am screaming with you! I should have about 7 more years before I have to have this discussion, I think that those years will go by waayyy to fast! Let me know how you are able to teach him...just think that it is probably better he learn from you (both of you) then from someone else!!! Good luck.

Shauna said...

You have The Talk when they ask questions and show an interest or need to know.
I had some hilarious experiences with my older sons in this department. They are recorded somewhere on my blog.
One is when my son, Jeffrey asked if he could watch the next time dad "fertilizes". He was about 8 at the time. He is now 25 and married.

DV- Rebecca L. said...

Sorry, not too much advice here. My 8 year old asked a few questions this month which had me gagging. Nothing detailed, thank heavens, but ug! It does seem to come up younger and younger. (stupid friends) At least you got to age ten. All I know is never give more than what they are asking about- and make sure they know their friends are wrong 90% of the time. Let us know how it goes. Good luck!

Active Ackleys said...

Hey Mandee! You might find some information at your church. We just had the talk this year (Nathan is 11). It wasn't too bad. We asked him what he already thought he knew & cleared things up. We've always used the proper names for parts so that helped. He watched the Growth and Development video at school a week later(we were able to view it first). Other places you might try, the school or your local health department. The video we watched was from the Health Department and it prepared us for questions Nathan had. Good Luck!! Just don't ignore his questions because he might become ashamed or embarrassed and just stop asking his parents. I've definitely had to time before answering his questions, so I know how you're feeling. I just tell him, good question, let me think on that for a little while and I will get back to you. It normally takes a phone call to Tim and collecting myself, or looking up age appropriate info online or at the library. I think it's awesome that he comes to the both of you.

Smullin Family said...

I think TRYING to be as casual as possible will benefit you and him greatly. What I mean is trying not to be too uncomfortable,just answering questions and acting as if it's no big deal. You want him to ask YOU questions, not ask his friends or someone else questions. If he feels comfortable with you, it will serve you well in the future.
Maybe letting your husband take the lead with the boys is a great idea. But then that may mean you taking the lead with the girls. :o) I checked out anatomy books from the library, because all the animated ones just looked too silly. I wanted to use proper names and show real life pictures. I also found the "American Girl" (growing up type book) very helpful. It was a good way to introduce topics generally and then I would go into more detail if needed.
Your kids may surprise you. My 9 year old girl totally saw the eternal, awe-struck side of creation (fertilization). She said, "So what your telling me is that when a cell from the mom and a cell from the dad get together, they create a baby? That is SO NEAT!" It touched me and brought tears to my eyes. :o)
Good luck...sorry so long.