Thursday, April 1, 2010

I Need other Mom's Advice

Okay, this will have to be quick. We are going out of town for the Easter weekend, but I have a parenting problem, that I'm not sure how to deal with.

My oldest is almost 8. He's a cute kid and a lot of fun. But he is super sensitive. About everything. He gets his feelings hurt very easily and he cries. Which, as a boy, gets him teased by his peers at school. It seems to be getting worse, although the boy is a closed book. I have to pry any information that I get out of him by force. And it usually results in tears. Mandee's little gal is in the same class and she has told Mandee that kids are really mean to J.D., because he howls like a wolf and he cries when kids don't want to play with him.

I'm at a loss of how to approach this. I've tried just talking to him, but it doesn't seem to be helping. It is getting worse. Every day is the worst day of his life. I can tell it's because he is feeling isolated. My husband just keeps telling him to grow up and stop crying and kids will play with him, but I don't think that is necessarily the right approach. It doesn't seem to be helping, anyway.

I think this is the hardest part of being a mother. The momma bear in me comes out and I just want to protect him, but I know this is something we have to work out together and he needs to take care of. Otherwise, it's going to get worse as he gets older.

I'm curious to all of you seasoned, and all of you who are fairly newbies like me, how would you handle this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!


Yvette said...

I think anything positive you can give to him always helps. Like he didnt cry when he could have or usually would have. Good job son I see that you could have made the choice to cry, but you chose not to. It could start with baby steps also. He cried but he didn't howl. Try to find anything positive he does. As far as the kids at school I'm not sure. I actually did this with my kid and he was the bully and his bully behavior started to disappear with in a month or two. I think most human beings would rather for the most part be commended for the things they are doing right. Give him huge praise for making good choices not crying etc.

Mother Huddle said...

Oh this is a tough one, I don't look forward to facing these kinds of things. My sister has a little boy with the same issue. And your right, he gets teased, kids won't play with him, it's so sad. He is now 10. My sister has tried all sorts of things, even changing schools.
I think the best thing she has found for him is to put him in activities he is really good at, then his confidence is there and can support him a little when situations arise.
Sorry I don't have anymore than that...but just think he'll make a great husband one day. The sensitive ones always do!

ME said...

I linked to your blog from a friend and I couldn't help but offer up some advice...

The most important thing that you can do is teach your child that his Heavenly Father loves him. Once he feels that love and learns to recognize it daily in his life your little guy will be okay. I think as a parent nothing we teach our kids will be greater than this!!!

We can all get thru tough times when we know and feel our Heavenly Fathers love!

Ali Seaman said...

I couldn't help commenting with the first thing that came into my head. Maybe if you sat down with him and talked about other things he could do when he is sad, lonely, or wanting to cry and howl. Come up with some alternatives together (writing his feelings in an angry journal, walking away, etc.). Maybe he could choose to do one of those things and it would help him express his feelings in a different way.

My oldest is four and I'm sure he'll be the bully sooner than I know (just his personality). Good luck. I love your blog, by the way. I know, I am a random reader!