Saturday, September 11, 2010
I HATE Cancer
Sorry, I have been away for so long....
My families life was turned upside down in the beginning of July. I had just recovered from a nasty wisdom tooth surgery and got a phone call that I will never forget. My brother had been admitted to the hospital with a ruptured colon and had been told that he has Colon cancer. I went up to Salt Lake and spent a week with him and family and waited for results to come back after his surgery. We waited and waited and waited. Watched fireworks for the the 4th of July from his hospital window. Watched the parade from that same window. We laughed, we cried, we worried, and we above all prayed. Several people came and visited him. It was a constant flow of people that it got to the point that they had to turn people away just so he could get some rest.
Well, I had to return home without any results, because of the holiday weekend pathology was behind. I got the phone call the day after I got back (of course) that it was indeed colon cancer and has spread to his liver. I have never felt so angry and sad all at the same time. I really wanted to punch somebody or something. This couldn't be happening to MY brother, my ONLY sibling. It seemed like I was having a nightmare I just couldn't wake up from.
He hasn't started chemo yet because he needs to fully recover from the nasty surgery that he underwent. He looks so much better now than the day he did before going into surgery. We spent last weekend with him and his adorable family. We are all anxiously awaiting the chemo and radiation to start so he can FIGHT this fight and kick it in the ...... (ok I will keep it clean but know I am thinking another word) butt. I love Tony so much and can't even begin to imagine what he is feeling inside. What him and his awesome wife, Jen, think and talk about. I just want to push the "stop" button and make it all stop. I pray and pray and pray more than I ever have. I am scared more than I have ever been. Feelings that have never been felt, fears that we never thought we would ever face. Positive thinking will get him far so that is what we need to do for him and for us. He is my hero and I know that he has what it takes to win.
Thanks for your endless prayers.